greyskies: a chick. nerd. bookworm. chocoholic. high maintenance. married. happy. saved. melancholic. cheapskate. busy. earthling. loves LOTR, music, bath oil, lipgloss, html, black and white, stars, animals, clouds, and wings.

inbox gbk
windrider elwing
thx to kallista & getty img
font used in title: new romantics
tools: notepad, ie, psp, and my brain.

i love: rainydays; lipgloss; paint shop pro;
coleoptera; anisoptera;
HTML & notepad;
friends; glitter; grey;
porcelain skin; stars
elves; & faeries and magic; bettie page; everafter;
i crave: chocolate chip cookies;
i adopted mellon collie and the infinite sadness;
i wish i could fly;

listed at: vanilla; watermelon; winged;
blogwise; hearts;
exposure;

« Obscure Logs »; scented: rain;

jack-o is freaky. take a look at his face and try to convince me otherwise.

M5.26.3 1559H

okay. i have to plug her. after all, she's kindly been hosting my graphics so i owe her some kind of worship. kallista has had a gorgeous new layout now for a couple of weeks, and she's also moved to a new place. she's making me envious. green i am.

M5.26.3 0917H

i really think he must still feel something for me. really. eyes don't lie, after all. neither does body language. maybe it's just wishful thinking, or maybe not.

M5.26.3 0915H

keep a poker face, girl

you can't believe you are jealous of him

mirror-image in reverse

of yourself

he touched her and

your eyes bulged

such a small, unpretentious gesture

but enough to be

considered flirting

and now you can't get him

out of your silly head

(well, he did touch her near her breasts,

after all)

T5.22.3 1901H

YOU are not my friend. you are a bastard who can't grow up and accept responsibility for your shit. you think the world owes you a million dollars and you don't deserve all the misguided attention that you get. they are bloodsuckers and you have also become one.

W5.21.3 1131H

i am this close to telling these annoying, LOUD girls to shut the f*** up. i really am.

shut up! lemme think!

M05.12.03 1653H

one of my secret pleasures is burping out loud -- but not too loud -- and then going "ahhhhh..."

T5.8.3 0807H

all too often i catch myself talking of the weather when i should have been saying something more meaningful. you know, like stuff beyond how-are-you and i'm-fine-blatant-lie.

my so-called friend situation seems to be clearing up a bit. but it does not make me feel any better, cuz i still feel betrayed. besides, it's not like the person even apologized. this friend doesn't think he has done anything wrong. oops. i said he. oh well. so the cat's out of the bag. he even invited me to his birthday party last sunday -- which of course i did not go. but i had a plausible alibi, mind you. i don't think he has ever invited me over. except maybe a couple of times, like 5 yrs ago. before, when we probably really were friends. but were we ever really? at least he treated me better then. but i'm not sorry i couldn't go. i hate to be anything but sincere, and if i had gone i would have been a complete bitch (and i'm quite good at it, too). so. that's that.

W04.23.03 1708H

i have a stomachache. thanks to you, i have a stomachache. i wanna vomit thanks to you. do you have any idea what you are doing to me? of course not. this is like... you know what this is like to me? i have never felt for a friend what i feel for you. really. this makes me feel like a woman who is begging to her lover to love her, she is explaining to him all she`s done for him, all she`s sacrificed for him, and he shrugs and says: but i DON`T love you. he doesn`t feel for her what she feels, and he doesn`t feel he has to. he simply shrugs. as if to say, I never said i loved you. I NEVER said you mean anything to me. you`re just a body i used. THA`T is how you make me feel. as a friend, begging you to be my friend, explaining to you as i would to a child all i have done for you, with the best of intentions, and then you shrug, and say wordlessly, that YOU NEVER said you considered me to be a friend like that! it was never reciprocal, but then again you NEVER SAID it would be. i am so blind! then you say you do this very same thing to your parents and siblings, they complain to you about the same thing i am complaining to you about your actions. am i supposed to feel relieved? because you never considered me a friend, yet you treated me the same (twisted sick) way you treated your family! how am i supposed to feel now?

i have a stomachache, thanks to you. do you know how many years has it been since i had one? thanks to you.

F04.18.03 1535H

how can you walk up to me like everything is perfectly normal? the nerve! everything is NOT perfectly normal, not after what you did to us! it still hurts, ya know, cuz at least *I* considered our *friendship* important. too bad you didn't.

M04.14.03 0653H

01101000 01101001 . 00000000 01101001 00000000 01100001 01101101 00000000 01100111 01110010 01100101 01111001 01110011 01101011 01101001 01100101 01110011 .

if you (like most everybody) can't read binary, this is what it means: hi. i am greyskies.

or a hcker version of moi is h!. ! 4m gr3y$k!3$.

M04.14.03 0741H

THIS is for people who are in favor of war.

F04.11.03 0629H

what do you do when somebody whom you've helped for the past 4 yrs stabs you in the back and says you're only trying to hurt them? when you try to make the person see what kind of people they're surrounded by, people who shamelessly take advantage of them, while you support them and help them get out of the mess they've created? and they say YOU are the one taking advantage of them? it hurts. betrayal is always nasty, even between friends. or people you thought were your friend. it makes me sad, sad for all those times when i tried to help and they took it for granted. i feel sorry for people like that. they're just so blind that they can't see who their real friends are and who aren't. or maybe I wasn't classified as one of their real friends, when I never asked for material things (like everyone else did), only for friendship. maybe my friendship wasn't enough! maybe i should have asked for and taken material possessions to be worth something!!! some people are SERIOUSLY screwed up.

F04.11.03 1617H

ha. i've just changed the visited link color... and added a nifty little "effect" for link hover... i'm silly. i love little things like that.


you know, when i saw saddam's statue come down yesterday i laughed so hard that tears squirted out of my eyes. i thought it was hilarious. i am completely A G A I N S T war, but i'm also against saddam, so where do i stand? he's like hitler for the 21st century. i just wish that could have been done without the deaths of innocent people (in my opinion soldiers are innocent too -- sometimes. after all, they're just following orders...)

T04.10.03 2002H

two nights ago when i arrived home from work i was looking at the gorgeous starry sky and i saw a firefly... it flew in from behind the house and over my head and disappeared into the gloom.

T04.10.03 1058H

one of my favorite sounds is when i lie in a pool and just float and close my eyes (preferably if it isn't a very sunny day) and just listen to my own breathing deep inside myself. THAT is pure bliss. better than any therapy session or whatever. it's even better than sex. it's more intimate than sex. it's me inside me. me inside myself. completely enveloped by myself... a self-made womb, all nice and warm and wet and liquid and -- buoyancy -- and does it sound selfish? i don't care. i am. no outside noises, nothing to interfere with my self-penetration. i go deep inside myself. when i open my eyes again i can hardly believe i haven't been there for an eternity. i can barely remember where i am.


not that i have ever had a therapy session, but you know.

M04.07.03 1947H

i pick my nose when no one is looking. i flick the booger away when i'm done. i leave the refrigerator door open for several minutes at a time. i'm selfish. i whisper to myself when there are people around. when there aren't i talk out loud. and i do voices. male and female voices. i have disgusting dreams which i tell no one. ever. they will go with me to the grave. i might be telling the truth. in my mind i am a fearless amazon, hair flowing and a fierce shine in my eyes. i secretely wonder why i didn't think of that. i wish thousands of people read my blog daily and flooded my guestbook telling me how much they love me and hate me.

M04.07.03 1850H

why. why do i feel anxious every time i post an entry? why do i have to worry if it's interesting enough in a vague sort of eccentric way? why do i read other people's blogs and feel a twinge of envy at their witty blurbs, (seemingly) written down in an all-too careless abandon? why do i have to slave over the keyboard and scratch my head and re-edit the entry twice, sculpting it until it ends up sounding like somebody completely different? why do i have to mask my boredom and boring sayings and faults and errors? is there an answer? why do i have to try to be like other people? who would we be if we all wanted to be somebody else? would we be everybody at the same time, or would we all be nobody? why do i have to seem perfect? have an interesting life? novody has an interesting life -- not from their own point of view (i hope). this thought renders me some fake comfort.

T04.03.03 1956H

ahhh... new layout up! i love this. i love this. did i say that i love this? cuz i do. a huge thanks to the butterfly for hosting my images.

changing lanes a bit... i haven't been updating windrider in a while. fact is, i kinda lost my inspiration. all of a sudden. my ideas flew out the window. some of it is due to the fact that when i sit down to post i usually don't have much time, therefore i end up not having enough time to sit and think. it takes me a while to "fall through the hole in the story", as stephen king puts it ("misery"). so, *sigh* it never gets done. but i'm not deleting it in hopes that i get to sit down and actually write something else. mostly, i also wasn't too satisfied with the way it was going. maybe i just have to rewrite it, change some things around. let's see.

T04.03.03 1202H

you think i don't notice you looking at me? the way you always stand in such a way where you can always be facing me? (you know, that's one of the rules of Flirting: How You Too, Can Do It. Always have direct line of sight.) and um, how do you explain it to your girlfriend? you do know that she knows, right? were you the one who told her (probably, says i)? was it someone else (and i have a pretty good idea of who else it could have been, and you know it, too)? what do you do when she catches you staring at me from across the room (and when she gives me the Evil Eye, as if i were the one looking at you!)? cough and pretend you were looking at a spider on the wall or something? change the subject? like today? that place full of people and i turn around casually and there you are, shamelessly staring at me. HA! you are pathetic.

S03.30.03 1540H

i love silly little things, like this one and this one. yes, i am easily amused.


and i am having a blast being Elwing, mother of Elrond. especially the part where i hit on that fine piece of elf! ha ha ha ha. *evil laugh* also check out gandalf, pippin and elrond himself. i never knew rpg could be so much fun.

W03.26.03 2032H

war is stupid. and pointless. if it solved anything, ONE war would have been enough forever.

M03.24.03 1538H

yes! i am officially a part of the Gap of Rohan RPG. see me wearing the mask of ELWING.

M03.24.03 1534H

*hmph* this is my second attempt at posting, because i accidentally hit some key and my post vanished. *hmph again*

well. i have been consuming a great amount of theobroma lately. i can feel my fat cells screaming for joy. ahhhh, blisss... *sigh*

on another note, i am awaiting acceptance into the gap of rohan rpg. all that is left is deciding upon a character for yours truly. of course, all the good ones are already taken. *hmph* oh well.

and: war sucks. but you already knew that.

T03.20.03 1900H

i watched el boosh's unimpressive address to the nation last night. i was so concentrated on trying to make sense out of what he was saying (yes, i admit it -- i'm politically challenged) when my ears prick up -- he says NUKE-LEAR and not NUCLEAR. i mean, did anyone else hear that? i couldn't believe bush's pronunciation. NUKE-LEAR???? that's like saying JEW-LERY instead of JEWELRY.

anyway, you can imagine i spent the rest of the speech trying to convince myself, that yes, he really did say NUKE-LEAR...

what was he talking about again? maybe they can explain it better.

T03.18.03 1021H

thought for the day:

Omnes homines dignitate et iure liberi et pares nascuntur, rationis et conscientiae participes sunt, quibus inter se concordiae studio est agendum.

or, for you non-latin readers...

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.


*Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights*

thanks to these ubercool linguists...

W03.12.03 1305H

i would love to properly learn yoga. i have, several times, attempted to do so. i have participated in a free class some lady in my town gives (didn't go thru with it, though. too expensive). and i have tried some of the easier poses at home with a magazine... somebody i'm gonna kill myself doing those twists and bends...

this is one pose i'd love to be able to do. and this one, too. it's funny, though. i'm so stiff i can barely stretch out my legs completely.

W03.12.03 0754H

i'm not a very politized (?) person. i guess you could say i'm a happy little turtle living inside my own comfortable little nutshell. however, i completely abhor war and people who defend it. so go here and get your very own free anti-war posters for you to print out and plaster all over the place.

T03.11.03 1201H

the sky is a serene steel grey (greyskies!), there is a soft rain falling, and it's a bit chilly, and i've just received a somewhat positive email, and some cool stuff arrived for me. all of those elements would put me in such an extraordinary blissful mood, yet i'm depressed.


that woman is driving me insane, the way she takes all her crap out on me. i have always been the victim of her schizo paranoia. i have devised ways to protect myself, or to at least dump it all back on her, none of which are foolproof. all of which are feeble, and due to my current hormonal levels, can be more or less successful. well, today, they were very UNsuccessful, and i walked away and locked myself in the bathroom and lay on the cold floor and i cried until my nose was all big and splotchy and stuffed up. then i stood up and washed my face and slowly walked out of the bathroom, perking up my ears to hear her voice, to pinpoint her location i wouldn't go there. lucky me, she was upstairs -- but will be back any minute now...

T03.11.03 1052H

has anyone else been experiencing technical glitches with blogsnob lately?

T03.11.03 0931H

it's very interesting to see how literary characters come to life. even more interesting, is to read their blogs. yes. blogs! take this one or this one or this one, just to name a few.

M03.10.03 1653H

M03.10.03 1036H

have you ever molested a statue? it's hilarious.


for some reason, as soon as i logged on to post this, the date was set to Sunday, March 5th, 2079. no kidding!

T.03.06.03 1807H

do you blog? i wonder. do you ever feel that necessity to post an entry even when you have nothing to say? do you site there or walk around, flipping thru a book or magazine or browsing site after site desperately in order to find something witty or highly pedantic or political to say? do you post that something even if it does not touch you or move you at all? just for the sake of posting? as if to say: there! i've posted. mission accomplished. cuz that feels like cheating to me. cheating in the sense where you are trying to fool yourself into thinking that you have to blog or else. you have to post daily or else you feel like you are being left behind and ignored, cuz you were'nt able to post a single interesting or existent entry while others get 100+ comments on their entries and get nominated for the so-called oscars of the blogs (you know what i'm talking about, the bloggiez or whatever it's called)? i mean, who said this is done for profit, anyway. of course, cnn and bbc journalists would disagree, saying that the "b l o g" has come a long way (from where? from some geekoid's phosporus-lit bbs?) and is now used by their respective correspondents way out there in the middle east or wherever there are to Let The World Know What It Feels Like To Be On The Front. so what? who cares? journalists blog to send out an article, they blog to win awards and nominations (*raspberry*), they blog cuz all their friends blog, they blog to fit in, they blog cuz they just feel like it.

i blog cuz i just feel like it. you dunno me, you haven't seen my face, you have never heard my voice, you don't run into me on the street. i blogt cuz i like to design and i like to code html and i like to write sometimes meaningless sometimes meaningful (to me, anyways) things about whatever crosses my mind and i don't give a damn for popularity contests. so to you 2 people who are reading this, hey. welcome to my world.

T03.06.03 1415H

test your (un)trained eye at this test: arial or helvetica?

W03.05.03 1853H

it amuses me when i push someone´s buttons and later on they unconsciously fall for it. now, don't think this is a hobby for me. not at all. i only exert my superpowers occasionally. chances are i'll never use them on you.

maybe.

W03.05.03 1549H

i just arrived from the supermarket. somebody please explain to me why i bought only one bar of hershey's cookies n cream? one bar is not nearly enough to satisfy my cravings. nope.

M03.03.03 1359H

so i finished my other blog "WINDRIDER: The Snow Chronicles". it's my fictional blog... then again, maybe this one ain't too real either... ;P

T02.27.03 1816H

i hate that sinking feeling you get in your stomach when you've done something wrong. it feels like you've swallowed a rock and it's pulling your guts down with gravity's help all the way to the floor. especially when it's something serious. well, yesterday it wasn't exactly serious, but it wasn't something trivial, either. and it wasn't something wrong, per se. just a screw up: i had forgotten to pay this stupid bill.

W02.26.03 1541H

i love photography and i have a blast looking at them online. there are some, which are, in my humble lay(wo)man's opinion, perfect. like this one or this one, just to name two. of course there are more, like the ones that everyone so ubiquitously link. but this girl, while possessing of a very melancholic and dark eye for catching interesting poses, certainly is... shocking.

T02.25.03 1859H

the weather is changing and it affects me tremendously. the slightest drop in the temperature lifts my spirits and puts me in a state of pure bliss. go figure. i get high on cold. living in the southern hemisphere of this little globe, i am always in the opposite season. i crave snow right now. i crave chills, whistling winds through trees, heavy coats, fuzzy sweaters, warm boots. right now the temperature is already hot - at roughly half past 8 in the morning the sun is up full blast. i wish i lived in a forest. i crave walking among the tall wooden guardians of nature, silent through the decades, holding baby birds and other furry mammals in their leafy outstretched limbs... juts a breath of that cool grave air would make me soar... my sweet tooth -- teeth -- have been on a roll. i keep thinking of chocolate all day long. sweet sweet chocolate. warm and gooey as it melts on my tongue. so sweet.

T02.25.03 0837H

hm. everything is set up now. nice brand new blog, new guestbook, new e-mail. ahh. new things are so good.

M02.24.03 1428H

this is what happens when you suffer from information overload. let´s stick to simplicity, shall we? whoever said less is more was right... this is greyskies.

M02.24.03 1316H